I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
