Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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