well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ladies don't puke and tell
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize