The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
