Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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