My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
