Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
