woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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