I am in a vortex of obligation.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
