one two three fourrrrnication!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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