If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
