I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
