yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
