I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
