It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
