so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We got so high we made milksteak
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
they're like a gay fantastic four
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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