there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
