Got a toothbrush?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He has the fingertips of a God
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