Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
