shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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