dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
