You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
