you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
