Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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