im drinking this country out of the recession.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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