That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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