i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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