I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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