Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
