awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
