I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
