Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
