she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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