when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
