Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
