he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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