im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
3pm strippers are depressing
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
