First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
