People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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