Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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