Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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