I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
