Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize