we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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