So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You smell like stripper and shame
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
