I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
COCAINE IS GR8
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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