You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
