12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
