Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
