Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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