Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
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