i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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