This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
