The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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