Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
