This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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