it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize