Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I could fuck to npr.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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