just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
