Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
