Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
