By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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