i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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