shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
