I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
