Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
